Just wanna say that I am very thankful for every single blessing Allah has given my family and I. I actually feel very bad that I’ve been complaining about the stressful weeks of project work that lie before me. I feel guilty for dreading the upcoming weeks. When actually, Allah has given me so many blessings and yet, when He gives me a challenge that He knows I can pull through, I complain. Astaghfirullah.

Well, food for th0ught for this cool, yet smoky night. Daddy’s asleep, so I have no idea where this smoke smell is coming from. All my friends are tweeting about it. So it’s not just me.

Anyway, I also want to say that I love my boy (man) very much and merry slumbers everyone!

I actually like “Relentless” cause I feel that it’s one word that describes me in many ways and contexts.
However, after much soul searching during my trip to Bangkok, I’ve realised that my current descriptor is much more  relatable in the context of blogging/online diary keeping and just using the world wide web as a whole.

Don’t you think so?

I remembered Khairun and I walking into a CD shop somewhere and this song was playing and we started singing to it! WAHAHA. And this song, though it’s really nice, it ALWAYS reminds me of this

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. And it’s no longer a romantic song. To add on to this, as Khairun and I were singing to this song while walking through the CD shop, he went all drama mama with the song. SUPER FUNNY. Aiyoh.

Ok la, obviously I miss him very much hehe ok I better go sleep now. Nights all!

1) I finally took the Singapore Flyer- FOR FREE! (Thanks, Internship company! Aiyah those who know where I went for internship then good for you, but I scared la type here.)
2)  I was given the opportunity to take part in GEM 7. So I took it eheheheh.

Not much lah. Or maybe there’s more but I can’t remember it right now.

So anyway, the parents decided to go for a short trip out of the country for the CNY break. At first we wanted to bring Nenek back to the homeland, but tickets were expensive and it was very difficult for us to get back  home cause there are no flights directly to Padang anymore and from the last time we went back via Batam, man was it troublesome and tiring. Especially for Nenek cause she ain’t that strong anymore. Besides, we also thought of bringing Gaek as well cause he hasnt gone back for the last 2 years. When Gaek comes along with us, we need an extra hand cause he tends to go to the loo more often than not and a walking stick is not enough to ensure he’s safe. He needs another guy to be his walking stick. The difficult trip back home is too taxing on the old folks, so we had to give it a miss.

Sian already, cause we didn’t know where to go, I suggested Bangkok but Daddy said prices were really expensive cause it’s the CNY period. Sian again, I suggested Jakarta. Mummy and Daddy were all for it, and I didn’t mind cause I haven’t been to Jakarta in the longest time, and I just needed a break from the face paced life here in SG. I wanna relax and lepak. So, it seemed that they were checking the flights and everything, and I thought Daddy got the tickets for Jakarta and I got mad pissed at one point in time cause he forced me to remember my passport expiry date, which I couldn’t. Passports were kept in the safe and I had no access. So I had to rummage through Mum’s notebooks and stuff to maybe find one where Mum jotted down all our passport numbers and expiry dates. Thankfully, I found it. All this while I thought we were going to Jakarta. Until I got home from training on Thursday night.

Daddy told me he booked flights for Bangkok instead. HEHEHEHE. Well, to be honest, I didn’t mind either JKT or BKK. But we were more familiar with BKK and we know what to do there, unlike in JKT, where we don’t really know where to hang out and what to do. So that’s how my random, impromptu getaway with my parents to BKK came about. I’m pretty stoked (I know, if you happen to read my blog very often- which I doubt, unless you’re one of my very close friends, I go to BKK every year and every year I say I’m excited hahaha.) This time, I’ll be bringing my DSLR! I’m so motivated to take more pictures. I’ll try my best to take less of myself and more of my parents and other random things that capture the essence of BKK. Hehe. However, I’m quite scared of taking it with me cause knowing BKK, lots of pickpockets and well… crime. Sorry, I’m not being mean or anything, but it’s true. My cousin’s bag got sliced (?) the last time we went there. A sharp knife was used to slit her bag. And it was a very very clean cut. So imagine how sharp the knife was. *shudders*

But all that aside, I’m pretty excited to take pictures! (:

Of course, I had to meet the Lad before I go off. Met him at Ikea today to have lunch and walk around. He wasn’t feeling very well today :\ He was having a cold. Totally not fit for me to leave him hahha. He’s all sick and sneezing at least 8 times every 20 minutes. Poor boy (man) Walked around, pretended that 15 kitchens there were ours and he’d ‘scold’ me cause the tapawe don’t have kuih tart and how he give me monthly allowance to feed him kuih tart…. Hilarious.After that he paid for the things he got there and I walked him to his bus stop cause it was raining and I had an umbrella (There was no shelter from Ikea to the sheltered walkway to the bus stop) Said our goodbyes and the usual, see you in five days~

Him: Don’t gatal2 with mamat2 thai
Me: Don’t gatal2 with minah2 SG

Then he went home, and I went to Nenek’s place.

Then we switched places cause I still think I look better on his left….

SEE WE LOOK BETTER AFTER WE SWITCHED PLACES!

heh heh heh.

Gonna miss my boy (man). But it’s okay

Cause I know that wherever we may be, we’re still under the same blue sky~ 

BECAUSE MY HOTEL GOT FREE WIFI!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Ok la, I’ll still be romantic a bit.

But yes, I like to look up in the sky when I miss someone. Cause I know that even though we’re far away in distance, we’re still underneath the same sky and that doesn’t make me feel so far away anymore. (AWWWWWWWW)

So that’s pretty much it. I’ll be bringing my laptop. But, I’m gonna sign in the wifi that they provide to my phone (They only allow us to use the password once and for one device only. Hopefully, by some miracle of God or the spirit of the Dragon year they will tell me that “This password can be used for any amount of devices”. If not, DIBS FOR WIFI ON MY PHONE.)

Bye everyone!
And to my Chinese friends,

GONG XI FA CAI! HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May this Dragon year give all of you blessings, good health and fortune!

To my Lad,
Take care Hun! I’ll talk to you as and when I can okay?
I love you (:

Merry Slumbers, everyone (:

Irritatingly mushy post coming. If you want to read, read it at your own risk. Just in case you’re allergic to mushy-ness, prepare a bucket or plastic bag for you to barf in, OR, to save yourself the trouble, just don’t read it.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Heh.

[/WARNING]

Today, I was moved- Moved to understand, and take in all my blessings. All this while, I have been aware and thankful for them. But I never took the time to actually take in what has been happening. A year ago, I never thought I’d be where I am right now. A year ago, it never crossed my mind for me to be in a relationship. I thought I was going to be by myself, still. I thought I was going to just carry on with my life, independently and be happy even though I was alone.

I was. I have been. And I when I reached that part of my life where I truly wanted to be happy alone, I felt like I could conquer the world- I could do anything alone. Of course, with my parents, family members, faith and God.

But now, I’m 20 and things are so very different than what I thought it was gonna be a year ago. And now, I have been blessed with the most thoughtful, loving, smart, responsible and caring man a girl could ever ask for. I really think I must have done something right to be so blessed- So blessed that I don’t think words are ever going to be enough to explain it.

Back to how I was actually moved to feel this way. It’s not anything big or extravagant. It was….

A simple car ride back home.

It was then I realised how very lucky I am to be sitting beside someone like him. All that was playing in the background was the radio and the sounds of cars and motorcycle’s zooming past.

There he was. Sitting at the driver’s seat, driving me home, all the way from the other end of Singapore- one hand on the steering wheel, and the other hand on mine (I know, this is quite err, dangerous hahaha. But if it’s any consolation, it was a straight road and I had my eyes on the road as well.) He’d fiddle with my fingers throughout the whole drive home. Sometimes, I’d catch him glancing over at me and I’d ask him “What?” and he’d reply “Nothing, I’m happy”.

There he was. 

Here he is. 

And at that moment in the car, when he said that, if I was at home or alone or something, I would have cried. Because I felt appreciated for my efforts thus far. I’m sure those of you who regularly read my blog know that I find myself to be a bad girlfriend, or rather not girlfriend material. However, he makes me feel that I was/am actually good enough for someone.

It’s the way he looks at me- the way he holds my hands, the way he laughs when I say something bimbotic or stupid, the way he smiles at me when I’m not looking then I catch him doing that and I’d feel insecure and shy and paiseh, the way he makes me laugh with his stupid jokes and comments, the way he makes me smile; and I can go on~

It really is the way he looks at me that makes me so very thankful to be blessed with someone like him in my life. I’ve never had any guy look at me in the eyes the way he does. He holds that gaze so very well that at times, I feel like I might actually be the only girl on Earth.

And so, today, I was moved; Moved to realise and be even more thankful for the blessing God has given me.

Every day that I spent my mending my broken heart was one step closer to getting what I deserve. That time I spent doing so, brought me here.

Meeting Khairun makes me want to be a better person and to not forget to always be thankful for every single blessing that I have been given. It proved me the power of prayer, faith and hope. For that, I strive to pray a little harder, say Alhamdulillah to anything that Allah has blessed me with, even if it’s a small thing- like reuniting me with my ez-link card that I thought I lost.

Oh Allah, I’m only human. I make mistakes, and sometimes I forget to thank You for every little thing that you’ve given me. But I thank You for blessing me with someone. The fact that You have done so makes me strive harder to thank You every single day for every single blessing that You’ve given to me. And to me, that is priceless. So please forgive me for the times I forgot to say Alhamdulillah. But right here, right now, I thank You for EVERYTHING. Everything. Amin.

To my Childish Man (Pun very much intended here)

I told you I was in the middle of something. This was the something. You’re probably sleeping by the time I post this up. But I reckon you’d come across it soon.

Although I told you not to read me whenever I don’t allow you to, but I hope you read me on the way home in the car today. But if you didn’t, I think this should be sufficient.

Just know that I cannot imagine not being able to see you looking at me with those eyes of yours, even how small it is.
And just know that I don’t need to hear you tell me that you love me to know that you do. I just look at you; at your eyes and I know. I might not be able to read people as well as you can, but you are one person I can read better as compared to other people.

I really think my blog post is not enough to explain how I feel- how I felt just now when you sent me home. I can’t get it off my mind- how you look at me; how you looked at me when I got into the lift. It makes me feel very warm and loved. I’ve never felt that way before- having to look into a guy’s eyes and feel everything he’s feeling. You leave me speechless every time. Since the beginning. And I’m never speechless- until I met you. Hahaha.

I thank Allah for that. For bringing me to you.

I love you, owner of a double barreled dart gun.
Very much

When he stares at me you see he cares for me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tell his soul.

Brown Eyes by Beyonce

I officially turned 20 on Monday. Yes, TWENTY. How old am I. Well, I shan’t complain much because there are people older than I am (No pun intended). Nevertheless, I had an awesome celebration on January 1st with my family and close friends. I spent my real birthday soaking in Facebook, Twitter and Text Birthday Wishes. I am forever grateful for all your well wishes (: The day after my real birthday, I went to meet the Lad for lunch and was surprised with more than just regular lunch and a movie. Heh.But first up, my birthday celebration at home!

Very busy. Dad was busy cooking, Mum was busy being, well, herself… Cleaning and nagging away~ But I don’t blame her, she’s been having a hard time. So by 5pm, I was showered and I did my prayers and Eka came first! I was still in my tshirt and shorts, getting ready for my partay.

So I quickly got ready. Quite impressed with the time I took to put on my make up this time. Wahaha. I was done in 25 mins as compared to the usual 45 mins. Panic like siao cause everyone started coming to my place.

Made Adel wear Non- degree spectacles! heheheh HOW CUTE IS THATTTT.

And about 15 mins after that picture was taken,

I. AM. READEH.
WAHAHAHA. HOW GEEKY AM I.
Check my specs out!!! HOW CUTE IS THAT!

Then it was time to come down to set up the BBQ pit, the tables and chairs.

So my photographer/ Personal Assistant of the day was

So, let the pictures do the talking

Imah, Muhammad, Oda & Isk

Major Project Group Mates- Grace and Fiona Nabilah couldn’t come cause she had to finish her report! hahah

My Girls! <3

Check out our matching Specs!! HOW CUTE ARE WE?!?! WAHAHAHA.

Cheryl

Hui Lin

Cheryl & Hui Lin

Wahidah!

Del

Errrrrr. hehehe.

Cousins with Om Nasir and Gaek

Hana & Taufiq

This was the box that came with my cake! heheh. Yes… I’m 20. heh.

We did a mistake. Ok, maybe I did a mistake. I should have taken the cake out an hour before the cake cutting was supposed to happen. The cake was in a styrofoam box that was equipped with dried ice to keep the ice cream cake… well… Ice cream. Haha. But when we wanted to poke in the candles, IT WAS SO HARD. LIKE AS HARD AS A ROCK AND WE COULDN’T EVEN POKE IN THE CANDLES INTO THE CAKE. So my candles just like balanced itself. Luckily only got two. Wahahaha.

Aryssa, Aniqa and their Aunty Ra! ^^, Look at how sweaty they are! They’ve been running around, playing at the playground. Hahahah

20th. TWENTIETH. Omg.

Cutting the cake that cannot be cut. ACT ONLY. hahaha.

Adel and her 20 year old Aunty Ra

Oda, Isk & Shahrir Muhammad and Azeemah came earlier but they had to go off.

Cheryl and I with our ingenius way of taking photos with a DSLR since GEM 6 :’) Nostalgic

Me and Daddy! <3 <3 <3 (Notice: He buttoned up his shirt to fit the theme! Hehehe)

Hammy and his Sister, Fathimah! Hammy helped me cut the rock solid cake. HAHAHA.

My Granny, who is so cool and awesome in every way. I told her about Khairun and she was happy about it. MY GRANNY IS TOO COOL FOR WORDS. I love you, Nenek! <3

Aniqa, the already Primary 1 student! She just had her first day of P1 yesterday and not forgetting….

My Ahhhhhh- Eeeeeeeeeeee, the new pre- schooler!

Hehehehe. Hand- drawn spectacles for my balloons!

So that was my party! Hehehe. It was fun. Great company, great food. And I’m sorry if I didn’t entertain each an every one of my guests properly. I wanted to print this but I had no time. So here’s to everyone who made it for my party! -

HEHEHHEHE. Thanks to everyone who made it to my birthday celebration It certainly made me not so emo to turn 20 haha!

I didn’t do much on my actual birthday itself. Headed to Orchard, found nothing I wanted but I got 2 headbands from Forever 21.

The next day, I went to school to hand in my SIP report and met Khairun for lunch. Little did I know that there was more to it then just lunch. He took half a day off from work. After lunch, I was complaining about something, I can’t remember what was it that I was complaining about. Suddenly, the waitress came to our table with a cake and it had a lit candle on it.

I was overwhelmed and I was on the verge of crying! Hahaha, I’m such a loser, I know. But I was pleasantly surprised. I got a personal birthday song sung by Khairun which made me blush even more. I shouldn’t have worn blusher that day, seriously. Haha. I was so speechless and overwhelmed, it took me 10 minutes to blow the candle out and take a picture. I was literally shaking. Haha. I couldn’t even hold the fork properly! *facepalm* There were other people having lunch there as well, I was so shy!

Just when I thought it was over, he took out my present. Aiyoh, die twice. LOL. If my reaction was recorded, it would be hilarious because I was red, and freaking out.

:’)

I can’t help but feel thankful for everything Allah has blessed me with. My parents, my family and my close friends. Of course, my childish man (Pun/Oxymoron intended), Khairun.

So yes, I had a great birthday, Alhamdulillah Cheers to being 20 or should I say, TWENTEEN. Hahaha.

I guess, 2011 was a great year for me. Well not great like FUAH great. But it was what I wanted it to be.

I didn’t really set expectations for 2011. I just wanted to live life and take in as much as I could, and that’s what I did.

I danced for GEM 6 and that was and still is a big part of my life and my memory. I did criminal psychology and did well at it. I took part in my first dance competition with the best bunch of crewmates I could ever ask for. I think I can leave 2011 feeling positive and ready for 2012. I feel that I have no baggage or negativity to bring forward to 2012. That hardly comes by often for me because time and again, I begun a new year wanting to let go of things that don’t matter but I never did.

I made new friends, I’ve grown closer to my old friends, and I’ve lost friends.
Of course, losing friends isn’t one thing I should be proud of or happy about. But I suppose everything happens for a reason.
And even though I’m not in talking terms with some of these friends, I wish them all the best in their lives.

I ended my 2011 (Well not ended lah, cos this happened on Dec 30th 2011, LOL) watching balloons fly away as a symbol of the thing/things I want to let go before starting the new year. Attached to the helium balloons were pieces of paper that had  the things we wanted to let go. So we let the balloons go.

And up, up away they went~

I spent a good 8 minutes watching them fly away. I could feel myself actually letting go what I wrote in my piece of paper. Not only that, I let go of all the negativity I had within me about anything and everything. I soaked in all the blessings I could and thanked Allah for everything that He has done for me.

The best part of the night was;

I spent that 8 minutes watching the balloons fly away with Khairun beside me.
We just stood there. Looking up, as the balloons flew away- together with everything we wanted to let go.
We didn’t talk, we just stood there and watched the balloons fly away.
And that is one experience I will remember and cherish always not because we spent time awkwardly staring at balloons.
It’s cause we shared and enjoyed the silence.

So yeah, I didn’t have a superduperwuper smashing dope awesome like crazy 2011.
But 2011 has been meaningful to me. Though mundane, I feel very thankful and satisfied. Not just because I found someone new… blablabla… (Don’t lie, I know many of you are saying “Aiyah she saying she satisfied cos she got new boyfriend ma!” -_-)

But really. 2011, was just normal for me. It was JUST ANOTHER YEAR. But it’s small moments that made it all worth while. From the top of my head, I’ll try my best to list down the prominent parts of 2011.

1) GEM 6
2) HSS FO
3) TPDE Camp
4) K- Pop Competition
5) Passing RMB
6) Getting A for Criminal Psychology
7) Bangkok trip
8 ) Switchfoot
9) Mayday Parade!!!
10) My Family being civil with one another
11) Khairun Kamaruzaini
12) AND HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THIS- I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE IN 2011

So yes, this is why I am very satisfied with 2011.
I pray that 2012 will be as satisfying as 2011, or even better, Insya Allah.

Regardless if your year has been hard, easy, happy, sad or whatever, look forward to a better tomorrow
Like what I tweeted earlier today,

“I guess, in some way, we’re all different people than we were yesterday”

We learn every day. So I guess we subconsciously change a little bit every single day.

Here’s to 2011. May 2012 be a great year for us all, Insya Allah (God Willing).

Cheers to the new year, everyone!
Have a blessed one

Xoxo
Tiara

More on my reflections of 2011 later Now I’m busy!

EVERYBODY, THIS IS HOTSHOT! Not me la ok. MY NEW CAMERA!

After two years, Daddy finally agreed to get me a DSLR for my birthday. Syukur Alhamdulillah!
I AM ECSTATIC! THANK YOU DADDY, I LOVE YOU!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

So today, I spent one whole day at City Hall/Esplanade/Marina Bay Sands with Vins. He wanted to go out to test out his new camera too! So Hotshot already has a friend! Hurhur. Vins’s camera is Canon EOS 550D while Hotshot is EOS 600D. They are the same, but it’s just that Hotshot’s LCD screen can rotate and stuff. So we went around taking pictures. And since Vins has a certificate in using a DSLR, I thought I’d take this opportunity to learn from him!

So as we went along taking pictures, he taught me the different functions and I asked many questions so I could better understand what I can potentially do with Hotshot. After a day, I have to say, I’M NOT THAT BAD! Well, of course, there is always more to learn. But for the first day, and the first time with my own DSLR, I think I did quite ok! Now, I find it boring to use Auto Focus/ Everything Auto. I find it more fun to take pictures manually! Manual focus… Manual ISO.. Manual everything! So cool. Heh. I’m so amazed. So much more learning to do!! So I’m damn psyched about that!!

Here’s a picture Vins took of me. I LOVE IT.

And my favourite photo of the day which I took….

HOW PRETTY IS THAT! ok even if my photography skills half past six or what, LOOK AT THE BEAUTY OF THE FLOWER!!! WHY SO PRETTY!! OMG…. SUBHANALLAH.

So yes, I have to shower now. And yah 2011 is ending. WAIT, WHAT?!?! :O But that, another time.

Merry Slumbers, All

xoxo
Tiara

This photo was taken when we were eating ice cream at Gelare. I think it’s kinda nice.

But still, the main point is, Khairun bought a double barreled dart gun from Toys R Us.

For himself.

AND

Became a Toys R Us member.

AND

He’s so proud of it.

So now, tell me how can I not love this dude?