We should get jerseys ‘cause we make a good team

I think it’s gonna be a weekly thing that I’ll get the splitting headache. Cos like last week, I got it again today. I was randomly browsing through facebook at itas with nabilah and the guys and suddenly I didnt feel like talkin no more. Then the pulling sensation took over. Nabilah told me to get smthg to eat so i got myself some siew mai. Still, no help. Sheldon’s battery was dying so i switched him off, plugged in Lexon and put my head on the table to rest. Throughout the game my head was still throbbing, but i refused to acknowledge it cos I wanted to see the guys play.

The guys played well although they lost their 2nd match. I’d have to say their second match was tough and rough. Cos the other team played a tad bit dirty. The guys were pissed but decided to let the matter rest. walked to safra bus stop. And home it was.

So yah. Good job, guys! It was fun watching you play (: And it’s okay if you lost cos what matters is you guys looked out for each other, and stood up for each other. You guys are good sportsmen and losing is part of sportsmenship. Besides, you guys played fair and cleanly. So that’s a good thing too. I’d rather you guys lose with dignity for being good sportsmen and play clean, than win by playing rough and dirty. So yay! And I’m sorry I was frowning alot. But i tried to cheer you guys on, nonetheless ^_^V

Go Team Nasrullah! LOL.

On the side note. Nabilah let me listen to this song that I think I’m falling in love with.

Here’s a part of the song which i like (:

We should get jerseys ‘cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, ‘cause you’re out of my league
And I know that it’s so cliché to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It’s Jealously, they can see that we’ve got it going on

And I’m racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You’re ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we’ve ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I got to say is I must have done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I got to say is I must have done something right
I must have done something right

Must have done something right; Relient K

Hee ^_^v
Pictures of Temasek League 2 on FB!

Doo doo doo.

It’s not my night tonight. I cant find my test paper for stats. Vbus doesnt wanna accept my work. What else. WHAT ELSE. I feel so depressed right now. it’s annoying me. sigh.

on the bright side, school tmr. I miss my mates. Not looking forward to stats lecture but then again. what choice do i have right? one by one the guys fell sick =\

and yah. after dance on saturday, met nabilah, amal, faizah and aziz to surprise nas at his house. Nas was sick. Like really sick. And we totally surprised him la. so cute. He just woke up, very unglamourous… But he looked really really sick. I hope he gets well soon! unfortunately on the way to nas’s place i drank a bottle of h two O and that was a mistake cos while waiting for Aziz who was late, i desperately needed to pee. like really desperately needed to pee. REALLY BADLY. but there werent any toilets. So i had to hold my bladder all the way home. it was torturous. thank goodness i didnt pee in my pants.

And yah. speaking of Aziz who was late. When i was at tamp mall with hana and nabilah to get hana’s hair straightener, amalul tld me he was on the way to the safra bus stop. he told me to go call Aziz cos he didnt pick up his phone. So i spam called him like seven times, thinking that he was still sleeping. it was 1 pm. i really thought he was sleeping. like really. after 7 miss calls, he finally called back. I thought he just woke up. I THOUGHT. so i told him where we were gonna meet and asked if he already showered. he said no -.- so on an impulse, i told him when i meet him later i’ll merajok with him for 15 mins. but i ended up overestimating my capabilities. so on the way to nas’s place, i texted him saying that i couldnt last for 15 so i shortened the merajok moment to five.

So after the merajok moment passed we surprised nas. and since Aziz was going to pasir ris to play soccer, we took the same bus. I still needed to pee. remember i said i THOUGHT he was sleeping and thats why he didnt pick up my call? turns out he wasnt sleeping. i spam called him 7 times around 12 ish. apparently he woke up at 10. and was watching tv.

-.-”

+

!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to add in another extra 5 mins to the merajok moment. but i decided not to. cos i didnt want to overestimate my capabilities again. He laughed. And I still needed to pee. On the bus, there werent any seats. so we stood. all the mats who were gonna play soccer conquered the seats. And I still needed to pee. After the 20 mins bus ride, i finally reached my stop. Said bye to Aziz and walked home as fast as i could. Why? Cos I still needed to pee. Badly. reached the front door. Assalamualaikum! No answer. Assalamualaikum! No answer. I wanted to cry. WHERE WAS MY MUMMY AND WHY ISNT SHE OPENING THE DOOR. finally she came out. apparently she was in the loo. NOT HELPING. she opened the door and showered her motherly love. AND I STILL NEEDED TO PEE. “MUMMY I LOVE YOU TOO BUT I NEED TO PEE” ran to the toilet. the piss was great.

Eventful, no?

Lesson 1: pee before waiting for someone to arrive.
Lesson 2: never act on an impulse and overestimate your capabilities. ie. when u know u cannot NOT talk to a person for more than 5 mins, dont try.

and for sunday, hadith was surprisingly easy. I love ustazah. And i slept after getting home  from class. after which i spent time with mummy and daddy.we had coffee at starbucks for family coffee =) off to granny’s after that. Avi baked cookies. BUT IT CANT BEAT MINE! RAWR. Planning to bake cookies this week, Insya Allah. I should really invest on a cafe. *thinks*

I feel like shit when my friends are doing work and i’m updating my blog. so to make myself feel better I think i’ll edit my speech and try to memorise at least 1/4 of it.

No Matter What

I’ve been cranky for 24 hrs =( I dont like being cranky.

Hurts.

Headache.

A real splitting headache.

=(

Thank you Aziz for helping me carry Sheldon (:

Need. Rest. =(

Tired.

I’m sleepy. I’m still awake. I cant continue answering SDL questions. I suck at statistics. I actually have fuckin remedial from 5-7 every monday starting next week. WHY. WHY AM I NOT AT LEAST A TEENY WEENY BIT GOOD AT CALCULUS. T_T

On the bright side, I’ve been happier, Alhamdulillah. I smile more. I laugh more, and I finally realise that my patience has paid off. Alhamdulillah (: And the best part was, I saw someone I didnt wish to see today. The best part was, I didnt feel anything. No pain, no sinking feeling of the heart. Nothing. Like a stranger. And I’d have to say, if it werent for now, I’d still be stuck there.

Till whenever. Need sleep.

laadeedaa~

It’s All Smiles (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINS!

so today went to watch harry potter for the second time with the guys, hana and nabilah. it was a sort of gathering for hana’s birthday (: HANA I HOPE YOU HAD FUN KAY! LOVE YOU.

Didnt snap many pictures. haaaa. i was lazy. but del snapped pictures over at rumah nenek! Hehehe. Oh and we were late! But Aziz was the saviour. Cos he went to vivo by himself to lepaskan solat there. So we got him to collect the tickets for us. THANK GOD. Thank you, Aziz (((((:

So after the movie we slacked for abit then it was time for me to go. So i left. lalala. ok more talk when i have more things to talk about.

TIARA LOVES YOU.

FINALLY.

I got my sleep. Lalala~ *dances around*

And, NO MORE STATS FOR THIS WEEK! from Monday’s evening class, to wednesday’s extra lesson in between breaks, today’s extended tutorial… I literally cannot take any more statistics. It is enough to last me another week. And i swear i’m getting sick of her face. Like really annoying =.=||

I really have nothing much to say. You know how sometimes there are just some things you just cant tell? Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why i have nothing much to say. I had a very eventful Tuesday night. It wasnt really pleasant. And I went to school the next day looking horrible cos I couldnt fall asleep =( I dozed off at four am. And woke up at 6.30. I went to school with half closed eyes. I met the guys during lunch and I couldnt even open my eyes properly. All I wanted to do was bump and sleep. At an attempt to pay attention to the Psych lecture, Nabilah and I went to Cheers. I got myself sunflower seeds (!!!) and a can of red bull to perk me up. Thank God it worked. I was kinda awake and when i went to meet the guys after lecture, i was actually ALIVE. Yes yes, cos Redbull gives you wingggggssss~ HAHAHA.

That was wednesday. Went home and i needed to study for the statistics test. *dreads* but i had no choice so i did it anywaaaaay. Thursday was dope. Class ended at two. Met the guys over at ITAS. Slacked there for a bit and went to the library. Left for home at five.

NOW I’M HOME. I JUST PAINTED MY NAILS. cos i just got shot O.O go figure. AHH the pain.

Losing it

Sleep. I need sleep.

I is belly belly sleepy.

When I lost her.

My condolences to Enno’s family. I know how it feels to see someone you love deteriorate right in front of your eyes. Be strong, and keep praying.

It was like a dejavu of what happened five years ago. I was twelve. I still remember the solemn surrounding in the house. The house seemed so dead, dark and black.

A week before she left, she was admitted to the hospital. I still remember that Sunday afternoon where she refused to eat or speak. Turns out whenever we tried to touch her, she’d wail in pain. She couldnt speak properly. Slurring was her only way of communicating. The sound of the wail still rings in my ear. Screaming in pain. Despite her slurring she still managed to recite verses from the Quran. I was scared. I didnt want to see the paramedics take her away. I closed my ears to stop myself from hearing her screams. I still believed that maybe, just maybe she’ll be okay.

PSLE prelims came. Mummy told me not to think too much about Nenek and concentrate on my exams. So i did. A few days passed, I didnt visit her cos I needed to revise. Finally the last paper finished. Skipped my way home, excited for Daddy to bring me to the hospital. Upon reaching, Mummy was already there. Then I saw her. Lying on the hospital bed. Having tubes all over. I could see her breathing. I could SEE HER. But she couldnt see me. She couldnt move, nor could she speak. She was just lying there. Went over to salam her, i didnt feel a grip. Daddy told me she was in coma. And Mummy told me she could still hear me. She was basically, a vegetable. Mummy made me sit beside her and talk to her. Tell her my sorries and how i feel. I thought I could still buy time. Just as i was done talking to her, i turned to go to the guest area. As i left, she left too. Her breathing that could be obviously seen, died down. I didnt see her chest moving up and down anymore- indicating that oxygen was entering her system. it just stopped. Doctors rushed in. they tried to revive her. I stood and just prayed that she’ll be okay. after 15 agonising minutes of waiting. the doctor opened the curtain with his head hung low. I dropped to my knees.

A part of me died. A part of me was no more. She left. Just like that. After I came and talked to her, she left. Could it be that she was waiting for me? My life had no meaning for awhile. It was meaningless. I felt lost. Cried in the arms of Uni Dar. Kept telling her that it cant be true. Specs started to fog. A part of me just died. Upon reaching home, the house was so empty. Like even the walls felt my sadness. rearranged the furniture, changed my clothes and did my prayers. I sat at one corner with Yassin in hand. I looked around the house. An old movie played in my head. I remembered days where she’d drag her slippers from her room to the kitchen… How we’d laugh watching Bujang Lapok… How she chased me around the house to make me sit and ngaji… it all came back. Slowly, but surely, i made my way to her room. Her scent, her bed. I couldnt believe she was gone. Yet all the memories still remain.

After all the services had passed. I had to go back to school. The first day, i cried upon reaching home. Cos as i said “Assalamualaikum” she wasnt there to reply me no more. No one was waiting for me at the door. No one to give me wet kisses before i go off to school. SHE WASNT THERE.

She was the one who prayed in front of the Kaabah so that Allah would bless my parents with me. She was the one who supported me no matter what. She was the one who taught me how to read Arab. She was the one who fed me, changed my diapers when my parents werent around. SHE WAS THE ONE.

But have I ever showed her how much i cared? Have i ever showed her how much i loved her? have i ever told her “Nenek, I love you” HAVE I? No. everyday I live my days regretting the fact that i never once showed her how much she meant to me. I took her for granted. Nobody can make satay padang like how she does. Nobody can make pucuk ubi like she does.

I miss her. And I forever will. But I guess, as much as a part of me died when she left, she still lives on within me.

Nek you know I love you. Although I never showed it. Sometimes I was rude to you and I’m sorry. I still wish you were here with me. I know you’re at a better place now. But you know, I miss the Bujang Lapok movies. It has never been the same without you. Whenever I see myself in the mirror, I see you within me. You played a part in shaping me. And I guess you really were waiting for me before you left. And I thank you for that. It showed that you loved me too. I know I havent been the ideal grand daughter that you wanted me to be. like how Kak mas and kak mes are. I know I’m no genius. But whatever I do, I’ll give it my all cos I know how much you believed in me.

Treasure the ones you love before they go. trust me. Cos the regret that you live with will haunt you. And its not really a good thing.

Leave of Absence (dreads)

It’s Wednesday. (silence)

My LOA ends soon. (silence)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can it please end faster?! T_T Yes, I’m enjoying the sleep and the slacking. But really, I have a NEED to get out and dress up nicely. I think I’m actually tired of wearing t shirt and shorts after showers. zzzzzzzzz.

Must.
Get.
Out.

Argh. One more day. One more day. HANG ON, T. HANG ON.

So anyway. What have i been doing for the past 3 days? Nothing much, really. I did some school work. SOME.  I have yet to continue my reading of chapter 11 of the psych textbook. It’s rather interesting… About the stages of life and shit.. Shouldnt be that bad. At leas I hope it wont be that bad. oh oh and at 5 im gonna watch the encore telecast of MJ’s memorial. I swear when i watched them videos on CNN i cried. After hearing eulogies from people about how much Michael Jackson gave it his all when he performed, made me promise myself. That in every dance session, every dance training, i’ll give my 100%- maybe even more. Every dance step I make is a rememberance to Michael Jackson.

On a side note,

DIRECT POLYTECHNIC ADMISSION (DPA) STARTS TODAY! TO THOSE WHO HAVE INTEREST IN A SPECIFIC COURSE, DO APPLY FOR DPA. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT. And i know it’s biased but TP DPA ROCKS! AND I’LL BE IN THERE TOO! GOOD LUCK AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOOOOOOON (:

Cant wait to meet my mates.

I miss you guys

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