Takana juo kampuang.

Why, HELLO, earth people.

I know i shouldnt be blogging, let alone be online at such a crucial time. I have many facts to store in my small head and I only have 2 days. It would be a miracle if i could store everything in. But then again, I’ll never know till i try (: So, i’m hungry. and as they say, a hungry man (or in this case, woman. or girl) is an angry man.

RRRAAAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR.
*draws dinosaur*

Weird title? Well, that just means I’m thinking of my kampung in Minang. I like pretty things ^_^v and the scenery over there is really pretty. So i like it. Besides, the coolness of the air up in the mountains just makes it even more peaceful and serene.

I
Am
Still
Hungry.

I should stop talking utter crap and not waste time. Lalala~

(PS: I really hope i find some food to eat)

cos counting from 1-10 works

Yes, I’m happier today. Thank goodness (:

Protected: Disgusting. Just plain disgusting.

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

I did not Excel in Excel T_T

At this moment i’m in CSA lesson. I am NOT paying attention to what Ms Lenny is saying. And CSA test is next week. Hurrah? -.- THIS is why I’m not in IT school.. So i did the excel test just now. And boy did i suck. I’M SORRY MUM! I’VE FAILED YOU T_T Gahhhhh.

Hmm. I have no words to express how i feel now? Feel so crappy and in a daze. I think I’m numb. I DONT EVEN KNNOW WHAT I’M SAYING! Gahhhh. I’ve gotten myself into an emotional deep shit man. As always, nobody to blame but myself. I CAN’T HELP IT! It’s sucking me into the vortex. You know how i always complain that there’re no good looking and worthy dudes around, now i think maybe there shouldnt be good looking and worthy dudes. Cos if there are, girls like me will just lose it. L-O-S-E it.

Okay I’m rambling. I’M SORRY. but heck, it’s my blog anywayyyys~ Lalala~

God, Show me a sign. Just please, Show me a sign :\

“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So wont you kill me, so i die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury
or wear as jewellery
Whichever you prefer”

Hands Down; Dashboard Confessionals

THE THURSDAY

Rachel reminded me to blog about something. It was my unlucky thursday. Which apparently, was FUNNY TO RACHEL, SOK YEE AND NAOMI.

First. I was rushing to leave Stats class. As always. I’m the neat freak and everything must be packed nicely into my bag. I was last. And my girls were waiting for me. I stuffed my jacket into my bag and zipped it. Then, MY JACKET GOT STUCK IN THE ZIP. I rushed out of the room and went to the toilet where my girls are. i tried fixing my bag in the toilet. i was so scared of ruining my jacket =( then, my CUFF DROPPED ONTO THE TOILET FLOOR. Drop to the floor, nevermind. IT DROPPED INTO A PUDDLE OF WATER. god knows, it mightve been pee. So, i finally got my jacket free from my zip. I washed my cuff and wanted to use the dryer to dry it. BUT NOOOOOO. THE DRYER REFUSES TO WORK WITH ME T_T i gave up. and i neeeded to pee

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. the squatting pan just had to have shit in it! it’s the sort of shit that is sticky-ish and cant roll down the toilet bowl. it was super disgusting. ANGRY. rawr. SIGH.

THAT WAS MY SAD THURSDAY MAN. yah ok. thats it ^_^

Just Keep Smiling

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMAR!

Yesterday DPA peeps and I went to Amar’s bbq pit at east coast. Omg. Long ride, pls -.- but it was worth it! We bought Amar Super Sexy boxers and super sexy socks! Heeeeeeeeeeeee. Alot of things happened on the way to east coast.

1) Daddy felt like he forgot to lock the house door AFTER he left for his fishing trip and asked ME to go back home and check. I was already at tampines mall, BY THE WAY. Angry lor. And when I reached home. IT WAS FUCKING LOCKED. GAHHH.

2) I bought myself takoyaki! pure awesomeness man.

3) In the bus we were making alot of noise, cos we had alot of catching up to do. Then there were these 2 ahbeng wannabe-s. Apparently they werent happy with the noise we were making. And being cowards that they are, they only showed their displeasure after they alighted from the bus. We were sitting at the upper deck, and they were sitting somewhere near us. I was sitting near the window. As they alighted, i was looking out the window. The next thing i knew, they were doing the “fuck you” hand sign. Not the middle finger. And they looked as if they were gonna like GO UP BACK INTO THE BUS AND SCREW US OVER. Funny, cos if they wanted to, why wait till they alighted? -.- and me being so innocent and blur, the first thing i thought of was that they were giving the handsign to birds. cos they were looking up to the sky? I found it really really funny. I started laughing like crazy.

4) Amar’s pit! It was super cool. I had fun. Although there werent much things to do. but i loved the company. And Amar was not joking when he said he was sick. haaa.

5) We ate at macs. And omg, i saw so many people skating. I wanna skate too =( SIGH. Ate mcflurry. Heeeeeeeeeeee ^_^v then took 31 home.

Rewind to last thursday!

Had stats test and I panicked cos i havent done my fpsych draft. Asked Mr Francis for help, and finally i got it right! After stats I had lunch with the dudes at ITAS. went to the library to meet my deadline. Chiong-ed like crazy and i did it! lalala~ After that we watched funny videos online. I went home around 6ish. Almost wanted to fall asleep. but we were gonna go out to eat with Elfa’s Family at istanbul. Rushed home to catch American Idol (Although i knew who won… KRIS! )

enough words. PICTURE TIME!

Stats: after test

ME. BAD. MOOD. TODAY. hahahahah

SCARRRYYYY

Perspectives?

Eh keith extra

HAHAH. WOOPS. TAKING PICTURE WHILE SHE’S TEACHING.

 

RANDOM PICS! (For irritating purposes)

Take that!

THIS ONE I DRAW ONE OK.

AND TAKE THIS!

and this!

AND THIS~

 

Amar’s Birthday!

On the waaay

His sexy boxers

AHHAHAH PLAYBOY

Lucious lips on yr feeeet

GROUP PHOTO!

Marissa and I!

XY’s shy pose. LOL. cracks me up EVERY TIME.

thats all! gotta rush for dance meeting!

RAWR.

Aziz hates the dinosaur in my header. BUT I DONT CARE.

RAWR.

The feeling that I’m feeling is complimentary

This morning was annoying. I had pbspeaking test today. So it meant i need full marks for my grooming. And i wore the victorian-ish shirt to school already. I WAS BUZZED. But, No choice =( i changed my bag THREE TIMES. THREE. angry. and settled with the black one. Pbspeaking was fun though. Lalala~ but i was buzzed half of the day? Yea. Then i went home for lunch to change and to well, have my lunch. Changed to something more comfortable and went back to school to meet Nabilah and Hana at ITAS. Proceeded to Engine for APEL. SKIP!

After APEL, Rachel, Nabilah, Hana and I went to the IR to finish up SDL. Supposedly to study but we didnt. LOL. well Rachel did. but the other three of us.. It took a long time for us to get in to mood of getting things done. haaa. after an hour, Hana left. Nabilah and i went to pray and meet hafir and gang over at the astro turf. showed nabilah old pics of me! And she couldnt believe it. it was damn cute, i tell you. She left at 7. And I left 45 mins later. Met this dude who apparently knows the whole of east spring 08. HAHA. super cool.

I left and the bus was a bitch cos number 8 in the evening is damn slow. Gahhhh. So i went to safra and waited for 59. Laadeedaa. Got home and had dinner.

Very plain day. I dont know why. I felt really stone-ish today. Like, i didnt feel as hyper? Hmmm. Till then.

 

 

So pretty; That he’s prettier than me.

Prettiest Friend.

This is what I look like today
And I’m trying not to pull out my hair
I’m trying hard to grow it but I’m far too shy to show it back there
That’s probably why I like wearing hats
There’s no denying I’m deferring the facts
Avoiding confrontation
Lacks tact in a situation
Behind every line is a lesson yet to learn

But if you ask me
The feeling that I’m feeling is overwhelming
And oh, it goes to show
I’ve so much to know

I wrote this for my prettiest friend
Who while trying not to prove that I care
Trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
Well she can’t see she’s making me crazy now
I don’t believe she knows she’s amazing how
She has me holding my breathe
So I’d never guess that I’m a none such unsuitable, suited for her

But if you ask me
The feeling that I’m feeling is complimentery
And oh, it goes to show
The moral of the story is boy loves girl
And so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told

I know that I should be brave
Even pretty can be seen by the blind
I know that I cannot wait
Until the day we finally learn how to find each other
Redefining open minds

And if you ask me
The feeling that I’m feeling is overjoyed
And it’s golden, it goes to show then
The ending of this song should be left alone
And so on ’cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told

Where is the love.

The wonders of the internet. It can get help you get information. It can help you get your research for projects. It can teach you shit like dancing and singing and playing the guitar. The internet is a very powerful tool. It’s called the WORLD WIDE WEB (WWW) for a reason.

So. I was in the net, roaming around.. clicking away. Until. I was quoted by somebody. The last time I was quoted was by Azura and that was about something about life. This time I was quoted for something else. Do i feel insulted? Yes. Do i feel like it was a mistake for me to have paid? yes, and no. Do i feel that the mental image that i had was true? Yes, and no.

This is MY story. On why i said what I said.

As much as i was happy i got in something that was rumoured to be very competitive, my heart dropped when i saw what i had to pay. I have to admit that i go to school wearing clothes from esprit and shit. and it costs alot of money. but it doesnt mean i abuse my privilage. I dont earn my own money. I dont have a job. I depend on my parents for my pocket money. For me, when i get new clothes that i share with my mum, I dont ask them for pocket money for the week. I’ll just use what i have left. If i run out of cash, then, either i bring my own food; or just drink water. So far, that hasnt happened yet. I had to decline class outings and chalets with my friends to save money. I was buzzed when i learnt i had to pay for something i’ve always had passion for. I started thinking and thinking. I used so much of my parents money already- and it was only the first few weeks of school. I felt guilty for having to ask money from my parents again. When i confided in them and my other family members, they told me to just go for it. I was shocked that my family members supported me despite having to pay the fees. And of course, I was happy. I was finally given a chance to do something i enjoyed other than playing an instrument.

I was proud to tell people that i got into dance. Cos it meant that I have some sort of potential. And it meant that I can actually improve on it and showcase it someday. I had doubts cos I didnt want to be caught amidst the politics and the rumours. Just when i felt comfortable and i was confident i was going to be fine, now i feel like i dont belong.

Although I’m blessed with the good things in life, I’m not rich, I dont live in a three storey home, I dont own a car. And I never abuse the fact that i’m the only child. I never abuse the fact that whatever i want, i get. I think before I decide to get something. If i really need it, then i’ll get it. But if i dont really need it, i’ll just live with the fact that i’ll get it some other day. So i was thinking “I love dancing. But i dont want to waste mum and dad’s money. What if i dont do well in it? What if I just cant click with the rest of the people. Which is more important, my hobby and my passion, or my parents?” As much as people say you have to chase your dream and what you really want and love doing, I cant bear to do that and watch my parents feel the pinch of withdrawing their own money. Parents dont really tell when they’re financially tight (well, my parents at least). Cos i guess all parents want their children to be happy. But still, there is still that sense of guilt that i had/still have for asking them for money for my needs. I feel that it’s not fair cos they should feel the satisfaction of earning their own money, not spend all of them on me.

God knows how much my heart sank when i had to choose between my passion and my parents. I can live without my passion- i can still dance at home, in my boxers, with no experience. But i cannot live without my parents.

And that is why i said what i said. And THIS is the exact reason why I have passion in psychology too. Cos when i study psychology, I dont just look at what’s visible, I ask myself why and what makes the person say or react the way they react. I did pay. Cold hard cash. And before i asked for the money, this is what i asked my dad “Daddy are you sure? I dont want to waste your money. I’m so afraid I’ll waste it just like that and it’s not something that has something to do with my studies. It’s something I enjoy doing. If you think it’s not that important, it’s fine. I’d rather let you save the money to buy stuff for the house, like food and all.”

I dont think about myself all the time when it comes to my family; What more my parents. I love my Mum and my Dad. If it hurts them. I’d sacrifice what i want and what i love to do just so they wont feel the pinch.