Social studies in one night

My eyes are already droopy from the relentless digestion of social studies. I feel intoxicated with food. for the fact that we’re kinda facing a shortage of rice, i think i’m the monster who has been eating it all. I ate 4 times today. talk about my slim figure. wonder why i dont get fat (high metabolism rate) my butt has been on my beloved orange swivelled chair for 3 hours now and i dont see why i should be complaining because i’ve had the luxury of experiencing sitting on a chair for over 4 hours thanks to band. but anyway, my eyes are failing me, and the book seems to be giving up on asking me to stop facing the laptop and start studying. In actual fact, i started at 8. Hmmmm. Hard core study with wahidah tmr. YAY. at least something to make my day a little brighter. well, for a while. better than nothing right? I need to finish social studies by tonight. which means i’d have to burn the midnight oil. Ah, in these rare occasions that i consume caffeine. I hate the bitter aftertaste of coffee. but its the only thing that can keep me up and awake until i finish revising SS. tmr will be solely dedicated to chemistry, and chemistry ONLY. My day will start at 0900 am. so mum will have to wake me up at 0800 am. I am going to stick to this plan. Even if i sleep at 4 am in the morning today, which is unlikely. Lets see. next saturday i’m gonna have a get together at Abg Iman’s place. (for i dont know what reason…. a new addition to the Dusqie clan maybe….Hmmmm…) But anyway, i’m excited to get together with my dad’s side. we rarely get to meet. My ‘break’ is ending in 8 minutes. which means i’d have to start studying again soon. I feel driven.

 

 

But, there’s something missing.

oh right,

 

 

 

You.

april 30th

(blank)

These few days I’ve been feeling rather numb. And i often relate my feelings to random songs i find in both computers- the laptop and the desktop. Since i’ve been studying in my room on the study table, the desktop has been put to much use. I find this week really hard and pressuring. Despite arguing with mum and dad about the holiday that i’m not looking forward to, i failed, yet again. But as a loyal child, i’ll just follow. I’ll think of something to pay off my 12 hrs of revision that i missed. come on, its the 21st century. I reckon there must be something which can benefit me academically when i’m in bangkok. Oh well, we shall see. This friday the exams will officially start. From there, its full speed ahead. chemistry and social studies this friday. my knees are shaking, unsure of whether i’m able to do the paper. I’ve started chemistry and a little bit of social studies. the bad part is, i’m running out of time. today i slept the afternoon away. and i spent the night watching tv with mummy. i feel useless. i wasted precious time. but tonight, i just didnt feel like doing anything. i know its wrong. and i shouldnt waste time. but i really didnt feel like doing anything. my mind was running in all directions. I feel numb, but then again. if i’m feeling blue, then i’m not considered numb right? bummer. I havent been doing well in school. My attention’s everywhere. distinct sounds trigger me. significant days trigger me too. When they do, i just… dont know how to react. a part of me feels sad, but another part tells me i can get through this. I’m a sucker when it comes to these stuff. And i somehow feel that i have failed. i cant go out to get my mind off these stuff cos of the exams. and i cant keep on dreaming and pondering over it and waste time, like how i did today.

I’ll post videos of significant songs from tmr onwards. And somehow, you’ll figure out from there. My power to phrase out beautiful sentence structures which holds alot of meaning and sincerity has faded. I’ve always been good at that stuff, but i think i lost it. I lost it. All.

let the song do its job

 

Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa dicintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dengan hidupmu, dalam hidupmu

Telah lama ku pendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

[Reff:]
Ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu hingga hujung waktuku
Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja

hingga hujung waktuku

Fun Fact #1:

Went for class and had lunch with Amalina Sulaimi and Azimah. Saw 2 belia 2 girls smoking… IN TUDUNG… I wonder if they were actually sane, cos they were wearing tudung, y’know. Like, whatever happened to innocence? kauz.

Fun Fact #2:

(ok. i only have one fun fact)

Tonight, the midnight blue sky seems so clear. The street lamps light up the roads. Corridor lights from the opposite block makes the night brighter. Looking at the traffic lights change from green, to amber, to red and back to green, i’m reminded by the facts that things change. Some take a long time to change, like some traffic lights, which decides to be bitchy and make me wait under the hot sun while waiting for the green man. But some changes in less than 2 minutes.

The weather- Its unpredictable. Face it, you can never tell whether its gonna rain or not. One day, my ever so dull days got painted by the most talented artist. And on another day, the colours just fade away. One day, I’d be smiling from ear to ear. And suddenly, I find myself sitting on the toilet bowl, crying my eyes out. My heart shrinks to the size of a pea. Unpredictable, these things are. However, like a tree, or a natural sculpture created by God, you’ll stay right there. You wont budge and you wont move. Not even an inch. Snow, hail, blizzards, storms, hurricanes will never affect you. Implanted on the ground, you’ll stand there.

I watched an advertisement this evening. It said “With NETS, you can make time stop”
So If i apply right now, will i be able to stop time and leave it just as it is?
Dazed, I woke up to a bright beautiful Sunday morning. I felt happy. The sky was uber blue. And the sun was shining as bright as ever. I thanked God for allowing me to get to see this beautiful Sunday morning. Like traffic lights, it changed. No, it didnt rain, or turn gray. i was the problem. I spoilt the Sunday. I found myself building sandcastles, without sand. Ustazah told me to read a verse from Al- Wafi and i didnt even bother trying to read it. I kept saying i couldnt do it. Ticktockticktock. Time for lunch at macs with Amalina Sulaimi and Azimah. Amalina got irritated at me for not wanting to eat. I went off at 4. And by 530, the parents and i left for tampines mall. Didnt go anywhere in the mall actually. just followed mummy to the banks. Talk about being patriotic, i wore red and white today. after the bank visit, we went to granny’s place. sadly, Aniqa didnt come. that adds up to the daze, cos i didnt get to hear her “I love you Aunty ra” ytd cos she was sleeping.

That wraps up my weekend. And no, I’m not sad, i swear.
Like the weather, I’m just feeling gray.
Somehow, i lost the paint.

Sarcastic, funny day. HAHAHA

I enjoyed the day in school today. From Mdm Noreha’s funny stories during english, and my sarcasm towards Syed during malay class, and my good talk with Liyana and Fariha on the way home. And i have to say this, Helmi is one matrep, one mat tappered that i respect. and he is the only matrep i respect. why? cos he doesnt think highly of himself. right right right. hahahahaha. and then, on the way home, Liyana Fariha and i talked about this year being our last…. And how cheesy juniors can be…. (HELLO. SUDDENLY THIS MORNING I REALISED I WAS MSN MESSENGER. =.=||) we had a good laugh… haaaaa. good times. i think 3 of us combined is like a megazord of sarcasm! HAHAHAHHAA. imagine the chaos.  hiakhiakhiak. alrighty i’m gonna be on the phone with iddy soon. turrrrraaaahhh babiiieeeeeeeeeeeeees

Strengthen my Iman, Allah. Amiin.

why hello fellow readers! Hahaha. So in the end, i did head to the library. wanted to read something about Shakespear cos i remembered watching a midsummers night dream last year… good times. my dress i wore for teacher’s day last year is put to good use. heee. improvision, people. and i got so frustrated. cos i couldnt find my 0.5 G1 Pilot blue pen refill. All times had were green and black. And most of them were 0.7 pffft. and guess what? POPULAR IS RENOVATING. kauz. that adds to the suckiness. i almost wanted to get the first Gossip Girl book. but i havent even finished reading shopaholic, so i guess i’ll finish that up first =) i refuse to take off my tudung cos i havent had enough of looking at myself wearing it =) oh! and on the way to tamp mall i met fida!!! omg. so long never see her man. haaaaaa. good times. sigh, dumb black ink. grrrr. i shall buy LOADS of blur pen refill from the auntie at Miltan tmr. I DONT CARE. and lemme tell u first, popular tampines is gonna lose ALOT of money from this renovation. tsk2. aite. I’m out. Its almost coming to maghrib, so i reckon i’ll take my dinner now (:

Kental, I miss you

 

 

 

Bad Tummy

I’m back from school (ALREADY!) ahahhaa. its very rare that i have nothing on after school. dope shite ~ i’m heading out to the library after i do my Asar prayers. and perhaps get some school stuff from popular. my pen ink has officially run out, and exams are starting this friday. way to go, tiara -_- however, the thing thats bugging me now, is my tummy. it doesnt feel all good like it always does. hmmm. wonder why. anyway, suddenly, i feel a rush to be much more of a better person. friends wise and religiously. i feel that i’ve been taking things more seriously now. Alhamdulillah. Okay, i need to rush to the toilet before my toxic waste releases itself right here, where i’m sitting. (Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww) hahahaa.

Always be my baby

We were as one, babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
'Cause I know in my heart, babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling,
'Cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave, boy
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably, you'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart, babe
Our love will never end, no, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling,
'Cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back, boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you'll be right back, baby
Oh baby, believe me
It's only a matter of time
Time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling,
Beause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong (oh, oh oh)
No way, you're never gonna shake me (ooh baby)
Ooh darling,
'Cause you'll always be my baby
(Because you'll always be my baby, hey, whoa, oh)
(x2)

Never, no, no
You and I will always be
You and I..
You and I
You and I will always be
No way, you're never gonna shake me
No way, you're never gonna shake me
You and I will always be
No matter what you do baby...
The David Cook Version sounds more sincere

homework night

after emotional friday, i still get the saddened feeling that my wednesdays and fridays would be empty and be filled up with studying. i dont know if i actually will study in the first place cos when i have free time, i tend to catch up on sleep. hee. anyway, exam’s starting this friday. well for el and mt paper 1 that is. i’m feeling nervous. cos i really want my mid years to go well. however, i’m not so confident. gah. i admit, i havent been focusing well. dammit. but in any case, i’m still gonna give it my best shot. so ytd some carpenters came to the house to fix in my study table and the parent’s wardrobe. now i have a HUGE table in my room for me to study. i hope this table brings me happiness and joy. hahahha. but i was dying of boredom ytd. apparently they had to disconnect the modem, so i couldnt go into the net. and they were varnishing the tv console. so the tv had to be plugged out. yes, i was left with absolutely nothing to do. it was all chaotic and noisy. and the carpenters cming in and out. with the amount of sawdust and stuff. my goodness. i couldnt study or  my hmwrk at all. the whole day was spent hearing the sounds of drills and hammerings. i wasted the whole of saturday doing absolutely nothing. this morning i woke up feeling fresh. after a  nice sleep~ hee. but i still had abit of cleaning up to do -_- after i cleaned up, i showered and ironed my scarf. iddy didnt go for class tdy and she wont be coming for class next week too. AAHHH. THE BOREDOM! dang. i still went for class anyway. zzzz. bought some wrapping paper for the new shelves and drawers. hopefully its enough. was supposed to head down to granny’s place today. but i told mummy i had alot of work to do. so she allowed me to stay home. its so peaceful and serene~ haha. kental misses me. AWWWWWWWWW. hahahhaha. wanted to meet under my block for awhile but decided not to, cos i promised mum i was gonna stay at home. heh. i’m hving trouble doing POA. dang. and its so frustrating cos i relie2 do not know how to do this thing. ahhhhh. curse you, correction of errors. my arms hurt from typing really fast cos i wanna rush for maghrib prayers. kental is off to visit his friend in the hospital.

wooh. workout for my fingers and my arms. hahahhaha. i’ve never typed this fast before. ahhhhh! it burrrnnnsss! LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL. mugging season is on. weekends are too short for me. with the amount of hmwrk. alrighty. i need to pray and then have a lonely dinner and continue finishing work. AND THEN wrap the new shelves. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i can do it. I’m superwoman.